Single Black Female
Mary Fields
Issue date: 3/5/08 Section: Body & Soul
Black women are protrayed negatively in the media. We're shown to the world as dumb, lazy, obese, weave scratching, finger pointing, neck rolling "Ashinkashays" who are perfectly content with six kids, six baby's fathers, and an unhealthy dependence on that check from the state every month. Those with a balanced view of Black women know these things to not be true. But what happens when the few men left in our community internalize this negative imagery? They abandon us, their Queens, for white women.
Today's Hip Hop lyrics prophesize it: "You know we keep that white girl, Christina Aguilera" Young Jeezy proclaims. "And when he get on, he'll leave your ass for a white girl" Kanye West warns today's marriageable black women about the hazards of expecting a black man to become and remain committed to us. The sad thing is that these rappers are not far off. Tyson Beckford, Taye Diggs, James Earl Jones, Quincy Jones, Bryant Gumble (who left his black wife after 26 years for his white mistress) and most notoriously Wesley Snipes are just a few names of successful black men who have chosen to share their lives and successes with white women, and not the women holding their communities together, without their help.
In a country where Blacks are still socially and economically unequal to whites and women are barely getting through society based on merit and not by sexuality, we're born with a double deficit; being black and being a woman. On top of this, black men are dying to gang related, drug related and other senseless violence, and being incarcerated for extended periods of time for felonies at alarming rates. As of 2001 approximately two million black males were or had been incarcerated. It's no surprise then that black women have the least amount of prospects of any other race in terms of marriageable men within the black race.
"A lot of times white women carry themselves better in the relationship…" explains Christina Spriggs, a 22 year old telemarketer who is in her first and only interracial relationship with a black male. She goes on to say, "We know how and when to shut up and act right in public; meaning we know to keep fights and conflict in the home and not handle things in front of people."
Today's Hip Hop lyrics prophesize it: "You know we keep that white girl, Christina Aguilera" Young Jeezy proclaims. "And when he get on, he'll leave your ass for a white girl" Kanye West warns today's marriageable black women about the hazards of expecting a black man to become and remain committed to us. The sad thing is that these rappers are not far off. Tyson Beckford, Taye Diggs, James Earl Jones, Quincy Jones, Bryant Gumble (who left his black wife after 26 years for his white mistress) and most notoriously Wesley Snipes are just a few names of successful black men who have chosen to share their lives and successes with white women, and not the women holding their communities together, without their help.
In a country where Blacks are still socially and economically unequal to whites and women are barely getting through society based on merit and not by sexuality, we're born with a double deficit; being black and being a woman. On top of this, black men are dying to gang related, drug related and other senseless violence, and being incarcerated for extended periods of time for felonies at alarming rates. As of 2001 approximately two million black males were or had been incarcerated. It's no surprise then that black women have the least amount of prospects of any other race in terms of marriageable men within the black race.
"A lot of times white women carry themselves better in the relationship…" explains Christina Spriggs, a 22 year old telemarketer who is in her first and only interracial relationship with a black male. She goes on to say, "We know how and when to shut up and act right in public; meaning we know to keep fights and conflict in the home and not handle things in front of people."
Viewing Comments 1 - 10 of 39
Joyce
posted 3/05/08 @ 3:17 PM EST
I can completely see where you are coming from, but I will not be pissed at all interracial relationships because a few black men think white = trophy. (Continued…)
Heber Brown, III
posted 3/06/08 @ 11:45 AM EST
This is an extremely interesting article and especially appropriate during National Woman's Month.
Did you see NBC's series on Black Women in America back in December '07?
I wrote about their piece and some aspects of the issues you raise on my blog:
http://faithinactiononline. (Continued…)
Tanisha
posted 3/06/08 @ 12:20 PM EST
Whomever you choose to date or marry definitely is a reflection of your self- perception, values and beliefs. Race is also included. Statistics show that Black men and Black women are the most uncoupled race. (Continued…)
rwinbush
Raymond Winbush
posted 3/06/08 @ 1:27 PM EST
Please remember that only *5%* of Blackmen are married to white women. Sometimes I think because the white media portrays the OJs, the Quincys, and the Tayes so prominently, we think that *all* Blackmen are doing this. (Continued…)
Jeliq
posted 3/06/08 @ 1:42 PM EST
I see the pain behind the article, but I also agree ... just because SOME brothas THINK a certain type of woman = trophy does not mean the rest of us have to get sucked into it. (Continued…)
JT
posted 3/06/08 @ 2:57 PM EST
Your ignorant comments are part of the reason why racial stereo-typing and racism exists...It is very pitiful for a black woman to perpetuate even more bigotted ideas (whining about black men dating outside of their race is just as bigotted as calling someone a n*****). (Continued…)
Julie
posted 3/06/08 @ 5:05 PM EST
Isn't the statistic that 80% of black women are overweight? I know it's not higher, but that is disgraceful. Take a look when you are walking down the street and I think you will know the statistic is true. (Continued…)
koolness
posted 3/06/08 @ 6:01 PM EST
Yeah,all this interracial talk is redundant.We can go on and on. We're the same minus our color. Golddiggers,whores,and any other undesirable characteristic can be found in any woman or man. (Continued…)
TTjessie
posted 3/06/08 @ 9:29 PM EST
I would like to take the time to thank ***blackcentury.com*** for the wonderful service they have provided. I met my husband through the site 1 year ago, we were two people of different cultures and countries. (Continued…)
JT
posted 3/06/08 @ 11:19 PM EST
Luv 4 a Nubia, whether you think my comment is off base or not, is up to your discretion. But I live in a world of reality...is the author expressing her feelings with every right to do so? Yes! But to say that what she writes does not have a racist undertone, you are absolutely wrong. (Continued…)
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